sofar sounds + whatsapp
LIVING ROOM, SOFAR —
a few months ago, in one my first newsletters for too wordy i wrote about skipping the small talk. i recommend you read it before you read this so you can laugh at how much i contradict myself. -N
in so many ways, sofar sounds concerts sound exactly like my ideal night: a secret living room concert strewn with socks, TJ wine, fairy lights, and soul funky music.
i imagine myself in the corner gripping wine leftover from my housewarming party, doritos, and two plastic cups from subway. i'm sitting criss crossed on the ground with strangers, trading notes and sharing stories while we all await a mysterious lineup, in a pretty home somewhere away from our own.
that ideal night all went from a rambling to a reality this past wednesday when i went to my first sofar sounds concert (thanks josh!). but, a surprise to me and maybe some of you, the deepest conversation i had all night was about how work is hard.
so we’ll get into more later, because it looks like i’m no longer the queen of skipping small talk, but first my words:
my words: i wrote about how whatsapp is being used as a growth hack for startups in india and mexico.
etc: this story was inspired by 1) all the indian aunties that swear by it 2) all of the YC companies from india that cited the platform as a crucial business element
learning lesson: over 1.5 billion people use whatsapp, and i don’t think american media gives it nearly enough attention considering the force that it is. what other startups am i ignoring just because they’re not popular (or talked about) in my day to day? e-mail me natasha@crunchbase[dot]com.
anyways,
while it was a warm light concert with poets and humans and mystery, i treated it like a networking event. my opening to meeting a stranger was not once, but twice, work-related. i can tell you that the three people around me were user designers at trulia, linkedin, and adobe, but i can’t tell you their names (or literally anything else about them).
and that makes me a bit insecure about my mantra on skipping small talk in pursuit of deeper conversations.
a part of me knows that this one off night doesn’t necessarily mean i lost my chops on how to meet new people. but a more annoying, more vocal part of me is going to lean into this weird contradiction: i couldn’t scratch beneath the surface at a concert partly branded around meeting strangers.
let’s overanalyze together, shall we?
i think once we find 2 or 3 people that can finish our sentences for us, it can be hard to consciously look for more to fit that description. it is so human to find complacency in good friends turned family.
i think it is normal to craft a world in which the hearts around you get it. it’s what i’ve always done when i’m in a new place: dive deep, fall fast, and love too much.
however, i’m nearing a part in my current chapter, as many of us do, where my conversations are filled with more inside jokes than head scratchers. i! have! friends! and that means life has become less focused on meeting new people. the concert, however, was a reminder that with less focus comes a rusty inability to bring out that side of me on demand.
i think the next step* is to make sure to keep room in my comfy world for new perspectives. ~skipping small talk~ can be used a consumable challenge when going through discomfort. it will do you well, of course. but i think it is more telling if you’re able to dive deep into new conversations without the crutch of change fueling your actions. it means that going beneath the surface isn’t being used to fill a selfish gap. it means that whether life is steady or not, caring about a deeper train of thought is who you are.
to not being casual, ever,
N
*so after writing this post, i guess sofar did do some magic on making me overthink and devolve. i’m going to go to one in a couple weeks with a favorite human, so more then.
