your chips + 36 questions to fall in...
YOU CAN ORDER THIS SANDWICH VIA FAX, BURLINGAME —
my friend kinda-recently introduced me to a concept made popular by Mark Manson’s “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”: being mindful of your chips. said friend told me to read the book, i didn’t, so this might be completely the wrong interpretation, but here’s what i got and what i currently can’t stop thinking about.
in life, we’re each born with a certain number of chips (think: poker chips). as we grow up, we give these chips of care to certain people (family, friends, teachers) and places (home, college) and ..things (jobs, hobbies). as our priorities change, so do our allocation of chips: instead of putting all your love into friends down the street, you’re taking some of that energy and putting it into your coworkers.
home gets a huge chunk, then your college town gets some, and then somehow you move again and your new home is earning its own chips in no time.
more later, including the most important place to put those chips, but first my words + reads.
my words: this week i want to showcase the second edition of the series i mentioned last week: Proust Goes Tech. i chatted with Lolita Taub, who went from working sales at IBM to investing with backstage capital to finally leading as chief of staff at catalyte. the interview feels like 36 questions to fall in love, except instead of falling in love you just learn about another badass human beyond the surface level.
etc: Lolita’s not the first woman to talk me about her seemingly-accidental fall into the male-dominated world of venture capital. in fact, i was at a qualcomm event last week and i kept hearing the line: i never thought i’d end up in venture capital, from fellow women in tech. it’s both exciting and astounding to hear that, because it means progress is happening, but the stereotypes are so engrained that even the smartest people don’t pitch themselves for the job at first thought.
learning moment: i’m working on a project (coming soon!) that is as hard as it is important as it is sensitive, and that’s been taking up a lot of mental energy. i’m working on learning how to ask for help, and learning when to not and just bet on my own intelligence (and i’m thankful to have editors that stress both of those perspectives). anyways, i pulled an erin griffith, and tried to map everything out by hand. i feel kind of better. let me know later this week when the story comes out if you think i did okay.
unorganized tab time:
a column that means a lot to me, written by my previous editor about our friendship
drones that fly under the radar (on purpose)
i wrote about boston venture capital
why we turn into different people when we fly
the only 10x take i care about
wework’s ever changing leadership board
anyways,
the scary thing here to me is that as our worlds expand, our chips don’t multiply. they just get spread thinner and thinner.
the happy thing here to me is that growing up is realizing that
1) you need to allocate more chips for yourself in all of this mess
2) instead of giving bits to everyone around you, pick and choose who gets your care
3) spreading yourself thin is no feat
with this mindset, all of a sudden struggle turns into wiggle room. losing toxic people? more chips for you. leaving your coast (and all the friends and family that come with it?) more chips for you. saying no to a networking event for no good reason other than you don’t want to? guilt, of course, but more chips for you (and maybe you can trade them in for actual salt and pepper ones and order that sandwich via fax and watch New Girl instead!).
take your damn chips back this week, you might just find yourself with more left to give.
reminder that i didn’t even read the book,
N
one human that has an always-allocation @charmie.m