alone together + equity

NORTH BEACH, SAN FRANCISCO —

a year ago today, i was a strong believer that the people are what make a city feel like a home.

365 days later, i am firmly placing an asterisk next to that belief. screw it, i’m placing two and making it a smaller-sized font.

let me explain.

after leaving one home for another a couple times now, i’ve learned that the best way i can say goodbye to a place is a slew of goodbyes to the people i love. when i was leaving for college, i made a calendar and scheduled out all the goodbyes i wanted to say. i had to get a meal with this person, a sleepover with this one, and a fireside cry with the one.

same thing went when i was leaving college: goodbye drinks with this one, a walk down commonwealth avenue with the other one, and a final run to otto’s pizza with these ones.

so when i moved to san francisco, as the optimist you all know i am, i immediately toyed with the idea of what leaving one day would look like. i couldn’t imagine a world where it would ever be hard to leave, and i couldn’t imagine that there would be a flurry of names i would have to say goodbye to. i couldn’t bet on this place.

lucky and soon enough, i found some clarity on that eventual, not-coming-in-handy-anytime-soon goodbye list. these are the kind of people that welcomed my visiting parents in with homemade food and flowers. these are the kind of people that entertain 48 hour long hangouts. these are the kind of people that don’t forget to put cracked black pepper on top. he’s the kind of guy that found out i lost my passport before a flight and ripped our apartment up to shreds looking for a singular piece of mail with my name and address on it.

these are the kind of people that work as hard as they play.

but with all due respect to these great hearts, as i sit here exactly one year after moving across the country, i’ve decided that they’re not the sole reason san francisco feels surprisingly like a home.

more later, including what the secret ingredient was this whole time, but first my words + reads:

my words: i wrote about how tech’s internships are getting canceled across the country, in another blow to postgraduate opportunities for students entering a potential economic downturn.

etc: i want to write more about how covid-19 impacts students planning to enter tech. if you want to share your experiences with job searching, a remote undergrad, etc, throw me a line at natasha.m@techcrunch.com. fun fact: my first column ever for my local news org at home was called the student stance. no i’m not linking it.

learning lesson: while layoffs are heartbreaking, internship cancelations show that this outbreak will impact our future workforce — not just our current one. every day feels like a new ripple effect of this all is found.

unorganized tab time:

all your questions about the stimulus package, answered

a job board for covid-19 layoffs

david chang’s take on all this

i’m joining the equity crew! here are my first few episodes (and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts to hear us monday and friday)

Stripe goes Fast for $20M, D2C tips and tricks and what’s happening to tech internships?

YC CEO Michael Seibel opens up about his accelerator’s first-ever demo day

Raising money in a bear market, and what happened with Sequoia and Finix?

anyways,

the world is so different than it was when i moved here. i mean, one year ago i was at dolores park and eating cheese and not thinking about how i touched a car door handle moments before shoving said cheese into my mouth. today, i am planning out how to make the most out of a few minutes outdoor, looking at vitamin d pills, and thinking about how tired i am of my countertop as a no-other-option office.

this quarantine has reminded me how alone together we all are. yes, black beans can most certainly make us feel a little more safe, but i think we all know that this is bigger than having an extra couple cans on deck. this time has reminded me that we need to lean on ourselves to decide right from wrong and to keep chugging along. no one other than ourselves can make those calls for us.

and, weirdly enough, that brings me to the asterisk i was talking about earlier.

i’ve decided that i’m the person that has made every place i’ve ever lived in feel like home — it’s not just my friends. i’ve chosen to say hi to patricia selling flowers each morning. i’ve chosen to smile at the woman who has a child on her lap while she gets her haircut. i’ve chosen to make a random pier my own go-to place of reflection. i’ve chosen to take the long walk home. i’ve chosen to let that walk feel familiar.

and that’s why this city has felt like an exhale, not an inhale, this past year.

so, san francisco, in the dramatic newsletter you deserve: thank you. thank you for making me realize that i’m the baseline i always scramble to look for when i go somewhere new. for making me realize that a goodbye list and scheduled out series of goodbyes is part of my process, but not the only thing i should’ve been focusing on. i’m never going to stop thinking i’m lucky for having good people in my life, but i’m going to start really believing that i deserve them.

if this was a year ago, i’d force everyone here to go out and have a drink with me and entertain this arbitrary anniversary. but for once, i am so damn thankful to celebrate today just in my head.

to being alone, together,

n