a perfect date + valentine's day

YOUR RECYCLING BIN, THANK ME LATER—

welcome to the 250+ people who subscribed this past weekend! i am so grateful for your time and trust. you can expect a weekly mix of musings that are *wait for it* too wordy. i hope you leave with a tab open to read later, and if i’m doing this right, some extra mindfulness. cheers to making journalism, and venture capital, and tech more human 🥂

my mom doesn’t love flowers, so every time february 14th rolls around her valentine’s day request is simple: don’t waste money, “saving a few dollars is a present in itself.” however, if my dad insists, she’ll give him two options: a hot and sour soup from the chinese restaurant down the street, or a slice of margarita pizza from the pizza place a few blocks over. double points if they get to rewatch mr. holland’s opus while eating it.

i, on the contrary, notoriously cried one valentine’s day during middle school when my dad didn’t bring home roses for me. i would buy a red dress or shirt to wear every valentine’s day, and at one point my friend and i sharpied pick up lines (sigh) all over a white shirt to wear proudly. i sent carnations to friends and wrote letters to everyone i loved. but then all of a sudden, thanks to puberty and a healthy dose of insecurity, the love for the holiday transitioned into sadness as i got older and became the Always Single Friend. enter an anti-valentine’s day attire of all black, all february.

more later, including my heart eyes emoji story of how valentine’s day once again became my favorite thing, but first my words + reads:

my words: i’m throwing this back to an old one for the boston globe. i wrote a story about a harvard square florist’s game plan, the day before valentine’s day.

etc: as i was leaving i got a flower wrapped up in some paper with shrubs (see intro for why that made my heart melt).

learning lesson: this story came together by me eavesdropping on him selling to customers, sitting in on his cigarette break, and nominating myself to cut stems off flowers for a bit so i could hear his mumbles to himself. i learned the importance of persistence amid a busy person’s schedule. i also learned that it’s important to get creative when gathering information.

unorganized tab time:

some boston startup news i care about

how one startup broke ground in brazil

a necessary read after a long weekend

a reader’s note on last week’s newsletter: “I once said to a friend, that as Generalists we get to experience the best of everything. We can see much further, and put intricate pieces together in ways that are not as obvious to others. Your stars are aligning in ways that will only make sense when you look back on them in a few years, in the meantime, whatever your heart desires — speak it out loud and it will be given to you,” @oscarchow07

anyways

let’s rewind to my freshman year of college, a time period already fright with homesickness, anxiety, and everything else that happens when you’re in a new setting but don’t yet recognize yourself yet.

prepared for another frustrating february 14th, that valentine’s day i was met with a rose from two guy friends from my floor. they dressed up in button downs and made a reservation at the too oily indian restaurant we’d been eyeing since moving to boston. a few minutes later, my roommate agreed to join us, and a few minutes later, the guys from downstairs were putting on button downs and joining us as well.

all seven of us sat squarely in the middle of a romantic swoony restaurant, ordered extra of everything, and laughed until we cried. we continued to do that for the next four years, regardless of relationship status’ and other commitments. to this day, i don’t know what exactly inspired my friends to make a reservation and do something nice.

somehow, this scrappy tradition has stayed as one. this year my parents visited me here in san francisco during valentine’s day weekend. my lovely boyfriend made his daal while juggling spoons of fresh ghee, my sweetheart friends brought flowers for my mom* and made chutney sandwiches and raita and cheeseboards, and the whole group drank wine all around the countertop until 1 a.m. we ate a whole box of godiva chocolate.

if your love for valentines day eroded like mine and you find yourself wearing black come next feb, i hope my version helps inspire a new kind of celebration.

thanks to this tradition, i’ve learned that the best way to celebrate holidays is to find a medium between the cheesy and the wholesome. this holiday is the best when you break bread with the people you love. for some, that could look like dinner with their partner. i’ve realized that for me, it looks like a chance to rent out a table at a stuffy restaurant, not for two but for ten. it’s an opportunity to pot luck the heck out of your favorite dishes. and, if you have a partner in crime as amazing as mine, it’s another excuse to make eye contact across the table and mentally note what you’re going to unpack later.

to platonic, romantic, and self love,

n

*despite my lede, she loved these flowers!